Stalker

A man stalking a lady

Don’t be a victim!

Online stalkers can be terrible nuisances even as much as a real live stalker can be. Online, a stalker can ruin someone’s reputation, scare someone, impersonate someone and antagonize people to the point of therapy and make them virtually impossible to get caught!

People get mad and want vengeance for all different reasons. Some might suspect that their spouses are cheating on them. Then he or she will publicly humiliate him or her online. Whether it is true or not, it is very hurtful and then the damage is done. Sometimes the husband or wife that is doing the speculating might be audacious enough to post something on the suspected spouse’s cheating partner’s website!

This has even happened in such cases when people of authority help battered women from their husbands or boyfriends. The husbands often are being controlled as well as physically and mentally abusive.

These are the typical narcissistic types that cannot believe a woman would just leave them without being romantically involved with another man already. These types cannot believe the reason is solely them! Some might look at it like the “Damsel in distress” scenario. These men get jealous. They look upon their wives as possessions that they feel they give everything to and set rules and control them and appear to have everything perfect in their lives. So why would anyone want to leave, right? So, when the wife of one of these men of this type finally seeks help from some authoritative outfit, and the husband finds out or sees her conversing with another man he knows nothing about, his first thought is that she is cheating.

Now, this personality type is furious and now more controlling than ever! She must do what she must do to get out of this and try to save her life and sanity. With the help of the people she hired to help her prove her case, now her ex-husband/lover is madder than ever! Making false claims and accusations online and everywhere on social media. Accusing her of cheating and harming her even more than ever! Putting more restrictions on her and possibly, even more, control over money, etc. He can become a stalker online and even in real life.

Don’t let this happen. Do not become a victim. Let people know. When you seek help, you gain the support you need, both emotionally and physically. We won’t be intimidated by anyone! Basically, criminals and stalkers are nothing more than big bullies that must be stopped. It is no game. These people must be held accountable. 

 Here is an example of an intimate stalker case that evolved into cyberstalking.

He met her on an online website called Tango about two years ago. They began to write online for a couple of weeks, casually flirting. They both express interest in each other and he finally asked her out on a date. She was hesitant at first because he 20 years old which was about 10 years younger than her. However, he insisted and told her he would take her to eat at a nice Salvadorian restaurant by Venice and Washington. She thought that she has nothing to lose and accepted but not before asking him to send her a picture of his identification confirming his identity and age. He send her a txt message on her phone with California license that had a picture of a person who had familiar facial characteristics as his but with a different name and birthday he had told her. She right away called him out on the inconsistencies of his previous accounts and he apologize and asked her to give him an opportunity to explain his actions. He said that his name was indeed Leandro Marroquin and that his birthday was in December who has about 5 years here from Guatemala. However, he was illegally here and that he was using another individual’s identification. He then proceeded in sending her a picture of his passport which confirm his story. Then they went out as they had plan on a Friday night. He picked her up in a car she later found out is not register under his actual name but to the other identification he used since he is not from the United States.

Since he was a bit quiet and once in a while would message her they lost contact. However, a year passed and he once again sends her a text (sms) message saying a simple “hi”. She responded and they began to reconnect. This time around he was more attentive and constant with his messages and she began to take an interest in him. Time passed by and he asked to go out on a date. They quickly connected and with his actions and attention she developed feelings for him and it appeared that the feelings were mutual from his side as well. They continue to go out in a few dates and he finally asked her out but things did not go smooth and lovely for a long time. He would lie to her about where he was and with who. When she finally had it with his lies she told him that she was not interested in being his girlfriend anymore. He begged and plead her to give him a second chance. When she died his requests, he went on to threaten to kill himself. She did not believe him and asked him to stop looking for her and to move on. This is when he became obsessed and aggressive with his actions. He created free txt numbers which he uses to txt (sms) her constantly asking her to give him a chance. She continued to be firm and denied his request. Yet, he would appear outside her house, appear in front of her car when she would get home, he would go to the places she was and demanded to talk to her. Once, when she went out with a friend to eat he followed them from downtown all the way to a pizza place in Compton. He waited for them to finish eating and when she stepped out the restaurant he got in front of her and told her to get in his car if she did not want something bad to happen to her male friend. They argued outside for about 30 minutes until she was able to distract him and get in her male friend’s car. The stalker continued to contact her from different numbers. She tried to make him understand that she was not interested in him but he still insisted. She continued to block him and try to go on with her life. However, he kept calling her, txt her and stalking her. Once, when she went to a support group and went out he was waiting outside and he sends her pictures of her talking to another guy. He told her that he did not want her talking to another guy and if he did he would kill that other person. She was terrified and was not living in peace now. The day after on May 1, 2017, she went to the police station to make a report for stalking. The police tried to look for this person but since he is an illegal her they could not find him in their database even if he had been arrested before. Then after the report, they send her to the court to file for a restraining order. There the judge granted her a partial restraining order that would protect only her mother and her. Now, the next step was finding this person and giving him the order to appear at court. She then hired some private investigators. They, however, could not assist her because they said the order had to be done before 15 days. She went to the court and obtain another court order and restraining order. Then the same day she met with the private investigators and gave him the address where he lives, his number, and pictures of how he looked and they were able to serve him. However, that same day he txt her and continues to send her messages from other numbers. The police officers did not help her much and the detective told her that he was not doing something horrible and it was just some annoying txt messages for him. However, for her this is hell. She is always watching her back, she is always in fear of what threatening txt messages she will get and worse if and when he will look for her again and try to hurt her or her family.

   All fifty states have some form of stalking and harassment law.
NOVA (National Organization for Victim Assistance), states “these laws
define the ‘pattern’ or ‘course of conduct’ involving unwanted,
disturbing and threatening behavior toward a person.” Therein lies
the rub. No matter how odious, how much interference it causes in your
life, or even psychological trauma, the standard for criminal conduct
is actually quite high.

According to the Fbi and Law Enforcement “The primary difference is the
individual legality within each of the behaviors contributory to the
charge itself.” Although harassment is a crime, not all forms of
stalking rise to the level of criminal activity and/or meet the
standard for a crime committed, no matter how unpleasant or disruptive
the activity may be.

An example of the above is photographing an individual without
their consent. These laws vary from state to state, but in general, if
you are “out and about” in a public place, i.e. walking on the
sidewalk, at a city park, or shopping mall, you have no expectation of
privacy, and someone so inclined can repeatedly take your picture,
without breaking any privacy laws. Unless, of course, you have a
restraining order specifically addressing that activity.

On the other hand, if you are inside a private dwelling or
building where you have a reasonable standard or expectation of
privacy, such as your home or doctor’s office, an individual caught
taking pictures through a small opening in the window coverings or
even a fully exposed window would absolutely be charged with violating
privacy laws. If other criteria were met, said individual could also
be potentially charged as a “Peeping Tom”.

You might wonder about a retail establishment whose purpose is to
attract public business but maintain its’ customers’ privacy and
comfort. This can be a bit of a “gray” area, but if you own a store or
restaurant or are a customer in one, privacy laws do not generally
protect you or your establishment from someone taking pictures through
your establishment’s windows. Fortunately, most people have the good
sense not to take pictures two feet away from your customer enjoying
your lunch special or trying on that dress you suggested!

It is the more egregious, violent stalker, or the who threatens
violence who is typically arrested. This type of stalker usually
“escalates” and presents a true danger to his victim. These are the
cases we most often hear about in the media. This is also the type of
stalker most likely to violate a restraining order.

Relief is typically found more readily in the civil courts where
the standards for proof and evidence are lower. However, this is not
much of a comfort to those victims whose perpetrators barely scrape by
paycheck to paycheck. Something truly confounding is how these same
individuals (the stalkers) always manage to amass a large quantity of
electronics and gadgets despite their low incomes!

Harassment laws are typically associated with the workplace,
usually with sexual harassment issues. This is the most common arena
for harassment related out of court settlements and civil lawsuits.

Many of the same behaviors typified by stalkers are also observed
by those who engage in harassment, sexual or otherwise. What about
bullying? I think it is a related behavior. It definitely has been
demonstrated that there is a higher percentage of engaging in domestic
abuse and a history of bullying behavior in those who sexually harass
in the workplace. Many stalking behaviors are done at a distance,
figuratively and literally. I think it is an interesting question:
When does harassment become stalking, or are they two sides of the
same bad coin?

Stalking starts with Domestic Violence and is the willful, repeated, and malicious harassing, following, or cyber-stalking of another individual, according to California criminal statutes as they relate to obtaining an injunction or a restraining order. By definition, harassment involves the committing of certain acts in a sequence against another individual over a specific time period. Those acts would be deemed as having no legitimate purpose and causing significant emotional distress to the intended victim.



Cyberstalking is defined as the committing of a sequence of acts involving communication of language, images, or words via electronic communication, such as emails. Those communications would have been directed at another individual. As in harassment, those communications would be considered to have no justifiable intention except to cause the intended victim some level of emotional suffering. Examples of behavioral acts that could result in an injunction could include the intentional killing or injuring of a family pet. Doctors, scientist and investigators have spent extensive time and research costs to try and attempt to understand stalkers. However, the only explanation that makes sense is that the stalker is mentally ill and dwells into an obsession of his/her victim that usually ends in incarceration or a deadly scene. Stalkers don’t stop and their actions escalates by time; therefore, don’t wait and call us now before it’s too late.